The Brothers Muller

Once Upon a Time, there were two brothers. One brother was named Franz and the other was Maximo. Franz went to the Realschule, a preparatory school for middle grades. Maximo went to the Grundschule, an elementary school, where he was in the fourth grade.

Max sat at his desk, studying his Science book. Meanwhile, Herr Warschauer, his Reading teacher stood at the head of class. He had blonde hair and wire-rimmed glasses. His black slacks were spotted with yellow chalk dust.

He stood at the front of the classroom. He busily worked little pieces of chalk into an aluminum holder. After he finished, he pulled the chalk holder across the blackboard several times. Each time he did, the chalk holder drew a set of parallel lines.

"What is the first thing you think of when I mention knights in shining armor?"

All the children raised their hands except one. Herr Warschauer picked on that very child.

"What about you, Max?"

"Hmmm?"

Max had been nose-deep in his science book. He preferred science over reading. Unfortunately, Herr Warschauer didn't feel the same way. He was Max's fourth grade reading teacher.

"What comes to mind when you think of knights in shining armor?"

"Castles."

"Anyone else?"

"Princesses," said one girl.

"Princes," said another.

"What do all of these things have in common?" asked Mr. Warschauer.

"They're from the middle ages."

"What if I also mention witches?"

"They're from the middle ages," replied a student.

"Possibly, but what if I also mention wolves who prey on little children?"

"They're all in fairy tales," answered a girl.

"That's exactly right. Can anyone name a famous fairy tale?"

"Cinderella!"

"Sleeping Beauty!"

"Pinocchio!"

"Hansel and Gretel!"

"Shrek!" said Max.

The children erupted into laughter."

"No, children," corrected Mr. Warschauer, "Max is right, too. Although it's not your average fairy tale. Can anyone tell me what makes up a fairy tale?"

"A good person done wrong," said a student.

"What else?"

"A wicked step-mother?"

"Was there an evil step-mother in Pinocchio?"

The children shook their heads.

"What makes up a fairy tale is usually a main character who has to solve a magical problem. With Sleeping Beauty, it was the poisoned apple and the kiss of a prince. With Cinderella, it was the magic slipper. With Pinocchio, it was Gepetto's dream for a boy."

"What about Shrek?" asked Max.

The children laughed again.

"With Shrek, most of the cast actually came from fairy tales. Remember the Gingerbread man, the dragon who loved Donkey, and even Princess Fiona? Princess Fiona was an ogre who had been cursed by a witch. Only a kiss from a handsome Shrek cured her, turning her back into the lovely ogre Fiona."

"There was no Orge Fiona fairy tale," said a student.

"But there was Sleeping Beauty and the Frog Prince. Princess Fiona is just a variation on those two tales."

"What is a fairy tale, then?" asked one girl.

"That's a very good question, and I will let you each and everyone one of you answer it."

Mr. Warschauer handed out sheets of paper. A list of stories was printed on both sides. Max looked at the list. He recognized most of the fairy tales on the list. He had been told many of these stories at bedtime.

"I want each of you to pick out six fairy tales that you want to read this year. You'll have to do a report for each fairy tale and the final exam will be a report entitled, 'What is a Fairy Tale?'"

A collective groan came from the reading class.

The final bell rang. The first week of school finally ended. Max folded his sheet and tucked it into his science book. "Alright then, everyone have a good weekend. I'll see you on Monday."
Each school day ended at mittag - the middle of the day. Children would hurry home and do lots of homework. So, too, did Max, cutting through the forest. He imagined wolves and witches, hiding behind every tree. He fixed his pack upon his back and tightened the straps. He ran all the way home.

"Mama?" he called.

"Ja, Maxie, auf hier en die küche!" she called.

He placed his pack on the piano bench and went into the kitchen. Frau Muller was busy in the kitchen. She operated a meat grinder, pouring chunks of pork and veal into the top and collecting strands of ground meat out the bottom.

"What are you making?" he asked.

"Weibwurst."

She mixed spices and meat mix in a bowl. She then fetched a bowl of pig intestines from the refrigerator. It would be used to make the familiar wurst shape, like a hot dog.

"Would you like to help me stuff the casings?"

Max nodded.

While Max and his mother worked on the wurst, Franz finished up his week at the Realschule. As he did every day, he went straight from school to practice. He played fußball early in the afternoon, before the band took the turf. Often, band members wouuld sit beside the practice field, playing their instruments while the fußball team practiced.

"Marty!" called Franz.

Martin kicked the ball to Franz. Franz passed it forward to his friend Stefan. Stefan passed it back to Franz. Franz kicked the ball at the goalkeeper. As soon as the goalkeeper stopped the shot, their coach blew his whistle.

"Kommen!" called the coach.

The boys circled around their coach at midfield. He lectured the boys about their upcoming match. After practice, the boys cleared the way for the band. Franz got on his moped and drove home.

"Allo?" called Mama as Franz opened the front door.

"Allo," he replied.

By the time Franz came home, Max and his mother had finishing making weibwurst. Max was sitting at the kitchen table, studying his Science book when Franz entered.

"Was ist das?" asked Franz as he picked up Herr Warschauer's reading list.

"Es ist fur die schule," replied Max.

Franz studied his little brother's reading list.

"These are all cartoons."

"They're fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm," corrected Max.

"Look," said Franz. He picked up one of Max's pencils and began circling the fairy tales that were also animated movies, "Cinerella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Rapunzel..."

"Don't mess it up! I have to turn it in on Monday!"

As Max leapt to grab the reading list, Franz held it just out of reach.

"Give it back!"

Max chased Franz around the house and into the boy's bedroom. Franz threw open the window and held the list out the window.

"Give it to me!"

As Max reached out the window, the paper flew out of Franz's hand, tumbling to the ground. It landed in a mud puddle far below.

"No!"

"Don't be such a crybaby."

Max hurried outside to fetch his reading list. An autumn gust of wind had blown it into a mud puddle. Mud stains covered the list, making it unreadable.

"Oh no!"

He took it upstairs to his mother.

"Mama, what should I do?"

Max's mother looked at the list, then made a phone call. A few moments later, she went to the printer and turned it on. A brand new copy of the reading list came out.

"How did you do that?" asked Max.

"I called one of your classmate's houses. His mother faxed us a copy of your reading list."

"It was like you cast a magic spell and made my reading list just like new again."

"I suppose it was," chuckled Frau Muller.

Max folded his reading list neatly and tucked it into his Science book for safe-keeping. Now his fairy tale characters could live happily ever after.